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 Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 10:53 am
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Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2016 8:46 pm
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Tea with Rastin was a nightly ritual. Some might just see it as sharing a cup with a purpleblood, but taking tea with his neighbor was the backbone of his evening, the one thing that stayed constant no matter what. Sephos needed it. He needed it so badly.
He drank his cup of tea - perfectly brewed and spiced - in companionable silence. This was how they generally did things. There was generally no need for conversation. Beyond the occasional vague comment on the tea or on a gift, words were meaningless. All the communication they needed was in their body language, in how they sipped their tea and enjoyed the wild tranquility of the woods.
Typically.
Unfortunately, Sephos had been feeling many things as of late. The world was an overwhelming place, and nothing was more so than the questions and feelings that it produced - jumbling and racing through his thinkpan non stop. With his lusus dormant for repairs, there was no one to turn to to help him. No one but Rastin. But perhaps that was for the best - Rastin was smart and knowledgable and he seemed to have things put together; he might be better able to help him than a treebeast ever could.
Sephos took one last sip of his tea and summoned all of his willpower. Rastin? He said, feeling the silence and tranquility break like something physical, like glass. "Uh. Can you... help me with something?"
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Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2016 9:15 pm
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Rastin, after so many years of drinking tea alone every day, was initially surprised at how easy it was for him to settle into a new, slightly more social routine with Sephos. He hadn't felt a need for company since as far as he could remember, but now he actually looked forward to waking up, brewing two cups of tea, and sharing his first few waking hours with his younger companion. The longer it went on, the more care he seemed to have for the other troll. He'd started to customize the tea, pick cups and saucers that he thought Sephos might like, and... Just genuinely care about how each meeting went.
If he had to be honest, it wasn't so difficult of a transition as he'd imagined it to be, and he felt that he could admit this sense of compassion and caring to himself quite easily. That, and, given what he'd been through with Sephos, it was already difficult to be critical or grumpy to begin with. However, it wasn't as though he felt he could admit it to Sephos just as freely, so he stuck to the comfort of tea and their shared love of peace and silence.
But today, the sound of Sephos' voice nudged that piece of apprehension free, and he set his tea aside.
"Ah, uh... Yes? Of course." He replied, his words at first hesitant, then firm. "... What's the trouble? Is someone bothering you?"
DraconicFeline Pardon my enthusiasm, but HYPE HYPE HYPE! 8D
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2016 6:04 am
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"Oh, uh... no. Nobody's bothering me." There weren't many people to bother him out in the woods. Usually, that wasn't the problem. He supposed that if someone was, maybe he now knew where to turn about that. Good to know, he guessed, but it didn't help him with the cacophany of things that was... this stuff.
Which he had to come out and say.
"One day I'm gonna... I'm gonna raise my lusus's kid. he said, drawing upon the worry that was the easiest to make into words, "I don't know if I told you that." He fidgeted with the cup for a moment. It was very likely that he hadn't mentioned it at all to Rastin. Well, now he was.
"Maku's... he's dormant right now..." Sephos' voice caught, "So it's going to be a while yet, you know? But I have to... I'm gonna be a parent." he stared into his tea, his brow creased.
"I don't know if..." something failed in his throat, made his voice choked and quiet. He had to force the words out, like dough through a press. "If I can..." |
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2016 1:41 pm
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Oh. No one was bothering him, okay. Rastin allowed his shoulders to relax and adjusted his posture, his hands drifting toward his tea cup again. Still, he didn't completely decompress as his younger friend spoke, and gently lifted the cup to his lips and set it quickly back down. There was something wrong, he could feel it. Like some kind of... Vibration through his hands that set his nerves on edge. He set them in his lap, all of his attention directed squarely on Sephos, and sat up straight.
No, Sephos hadn't told him that, and the idea of it was more or less intriguing. His brows furrowed, out of interest and speculation, and his head tilted, ever so slightly, to the side. However, the fact that Maku was dormant now made something inside of him shudder with worry. How long had Maku been dormant? Had Sephos been on his own since the horrible events in Chittentown? Rastin held his breath and fought back the urge to apologize for not being of more help. Though he was very concerned for Sephos, it was very possible that the boy didn't mind being alone, or was worried about asking for help. He reasoned with himself and took a breath.
"I didn't realize you were alone now." He began, his expression betraying the guilt he'd tried to keep hidden. "If you'd told me this sooner, I would've gladly let you stay here, or been of more help..." He paused, nodding to himself a tad. "However, now that you've told me, I want you to know that you are more than welcome to come over if you feel the need. Even if I'm not at home, I'll leave you a key."
"But this..." He continued, squinting as he tried to find the words. "Er... Eventual parenthood as you call it... What exactly will you need to do? I'm going to assume that Maku isn't leaving you without some kind of idea, but what will this mean for you and your future here?"
DraconicFeline (Please punt me if I'm writing too much. Ras is in an odd chatty mood with this)
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Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 8:21 pm
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Sephos hadn't thought of telling Rastin. He hadn't thought of any of that, actually. It had been his lusus and, thus, his trouble to deal with. He hadn't even contemplated asking for help, beyond this.
Maybe he should have?
"I... can't. My garden needs me." he said. His mouth twisted into a slight smile. "...But thank you." His garden was accessible from here, but not his nursery, but the thought meant more than he could comprehend. Maybe he could ask Rastin to come over instead and help him with the garden. Or just... Come over. That wouldn't be bad.
"Um..." Sephos wanted to explain it to Rastin, but he'd never told anyone this. He figured he should start at the important bit. "Maku's going to make a seed. When he comes back. Of course, "It'll be a big seed, about that big..." he gestured with his hands - it was about the size of his hand, or it should be. "And I'm going to have to find a place to plant it. Someplace not in Maku's range, where it can take care of the forest. Like he does." Which meant he'd have to leave. One day - fortunately, a day far in the future at this point. |
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Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2016 8:43 pm
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Rastin frowned out of concern, but decided against insisting on the offer he'd given. If the roles were reveresed here, he knew he wouldn't have appreciated being pushed into leaving his home. It wouldn't be right to cause him discomfort, especially now at this obviously trying time. The teenager sighed and opted for a more gentle, compassionate position.
"A big seed?" He questioned, his hands moving to his lap. He supposed that would make sense, given the kind of lusus Maku was, but the idea still made him uncomfortable. It was like if CatDad were to have a large kitten, if that were even possible, and leave him in charge of taking care of it. Rastin didn't know the first thing about infant Lusii, much less how Lusii reproduced. The entire chain of thoughts was frightening and uncomfortable to visualize, so he couldn't imagine that Sephos was feeling any better about it either.
"... I have a suggestion." He said, pausing to gather the words. "Perhaps I could help you find a place for this seed and, as it grows, help you tend to it. Would you be alright with that?"
He paused again and looked to the side, feeling oddly sheepish.
"I just can't imagine someone your age doing this on your own. I don't want you to be alone."
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Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2016 3:44 pm
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"Yeah." Sephos nodded, "A really big seed..." It would, Maku had told him, come from a great flower. Maku had bloomed many smaller flowers regularly, to help attract creatures that could help him spread his pollen, and every time he did Sephos had half-dreaded seeing a large bud appear. None had. Maku had said that this was going to be the season, but it didn't happen. It didn't happen because Maku was hurt.
Sephos stared at Rastin, surprised that such a suggestion could even be made. "Y-yes." he said, with some relief, fussing with his fingers, "That would be... That would be a big help, Rastin. It would be... really helpful." he swallowed on a suddenly dry throat.
"I was real worried about that... being all alone with that seed. It's so hard out there, Rastin, so hard. I don't know if I could do it alone." he looked out towards one of Rastin's flowering bushes. It was nearing the end of its blooming season, but it still bloomed, and it still smelled enticing and heavenly. "... but I guess they did." |
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Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2016 5:03 pm
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Once again, Rastin had to fight against reaching out and offering the child before him his hands to hold. It wasn't a feeling he was used to, protective, impulsive, and strong. He swallowed and resisted. All he could do was offer his support and assistance. Sephos was resilient, he was strong, Rastin knew that. All he needed was someone to guide him and be there for him. There was no need for anything further, unless it was asked for.
"Alright, then I'm more than willing to assist." He replied, relief and a subtle sense of gratitude sweeping over his features. "You just tell me what you need me to do and it'll be done."
Sephos' next words caught him slightly off guard and he couldn't keep himself from simmering into an old pit of nostalgia. Being all alone. The struggle of taking care of something by yourself. ... He knew those feelings well and they clawed through him like nails along his back. But this wasn't about him or his feelings. This was about Sephos, and he had to at least emulate strength for him.
"... Who did?" He asked, his brows furrowing slightly. "I'm not sure what you mean by that."
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 5:32 pm
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Sephos felt like he was hit, physically struck, with a tidal wave of feelings. They were there, barely definable, and overwhelming all of his senses with sensation both physical and mental. He looked down at Rastin's table, his cheeks flushed, and tried to sort them out. He did the best he could with their amorphous mass, and he knew that whatever they were, they were good.
Finally, he was able to speak again. He looked up at Rastin, his eyes innocently expressive and guileless, with a few tiny gemlike drops of green at their corners. Tiny, but tears. "Thank you." he said, the words painful in their earnestness. "That... Thank you." he paused, biting his lip a little bit with his jagged teeth.
Huh? Oh right. Rastin wouldn't know. About them. "They... the others. The troll that raised Maku. The other trolls that he raised." and other trolls who raised other treebeasts, he supposed, but he wasn't concerned about them. He didn't know a thing about those others, aside from a few snippets about the treebeast that had raised the troll that had raised Maku. It was the other... others... that worried him. "They all went off and took care of their saplings on thier own. They tended 'em and taught 'em and when it was all growed up, they went and left the forest. To the army, I think. Or to space. Or..." Sephos stumbled over the - to him - abstract concepts, drinking his now significantly cooled tea, "Not the forest."
He put down his empty cup and looked around them, at the canopy of the forest, at the dancing moonlit shadows and the flashes of fireflies. At the life that surrounded them in the dark night and the utter lack of troll civilization (aside from Rastin's hive). "They all went and left, Rastin." he said, after a moment, "So... am I supposed to go?" He reached over to the teapot and, his manners being rough, underdeveloped, and mostly consisting of meaning well and common sense, poured some tea for himself. His grip was awkward, and he shook, spilling some of the tea. He began to wipe it up, his lip shaking a little as he tried to manage the tide of feelings once again. |
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Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 10:14 pm
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Tears. There were... Tiny tears in Sephos' eyes. Rastin froze, his breath caught and his shoulders squared. No, this wasn't something he wanted to see. It didn't disgust him, it didn't scare him, but it made him feel emotional. What was the word for that again? When someone else's feelings made you feel the same way? His mind searched while his eyes blinked back some wetness of their own, and refocused on the conversation.
"I... I see." He said, glancing to a box of tissues on the table next to them. He refrained from offering them, for the moment. "I guess it's a bit of a oversight on my part not to think that Lusii wouldn't have other children before us. With the way I was as a child, I don't know if CatDad will want another kid when I'm grown."
A bit of humor bubbled up and just as quickly settled down as Rastin, again, froze. He looked to Sephos as though he were stunned and gripped his cloak slightly. Leave the forest? Sephos? The thought hurt him, and he wasn't completely sure why. He didn't want the younger troll to leave. It meant travelling great lengths to visit. No more early evening chats over tea. No more... This. He cleared his throat.
"No. Not unless you want to." He replied, the words feeling like sandpaper against his tongue. "If you are more comfortable here, in the forest, then why leave? It's highly possible that these other trolls had ideals that weren't in line with yours. There's not need to copy them if it's no what you, yourself, desire."
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2017 3:30 pm
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Sephos rubbed his face, wiping away the tears that had formed. They itched and felt strange there.
"Don't want to leave." he said, a little bluntly. Affirmatively. There was force in his voice, and he knew he was telling the truth. "Don't want to do this alone." It was funny - scary almost - how one declaration led to another, like a chain of snapflowers closing their petals and sepals over their sensitive centers in a train from the shockwave of the first. Or like traps. "Don't want to go out there. Don't want to..." he shivered, "Any of... of... that." he said, gesticulating passionately, flushing with the effort of saying what he meant.
Any of what, Sephos? he thought, realizing - again - that he was too vague. Rastin could not read his mind.
"Any of the bad things that happened." he amended, lamely... bitterly. "Why's it like that out there? Why's it so... so hard?" As he asked it - not before, not after - it occurred to Sephos that Rastin might actually know. Rastin knew so much.
"Why would anyone want to... to go out there?" |
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2017 11:08 pm
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And he didn't have to. Rastin's hands shook at his sides. Sephos didn't have to do anything alone, or anything that made him uncomfortable. He could stay here in the forests, where everything was safe, for the most part at least, and never need to fret over what others in the past had done differently. Sephos was his own troll, after all.
Giving in to a bit of impulse, Rastin grasped a tissue from the box and offered it to the boy. There was no reason to use his hands when the proper material was available.
"I..." He began, his face flexing and twisting while he mulled the questions over. "I don't know why, Sephos. I've spent my entire life trying to find an answer to those questions. Why is the world outside of here so difficult to understand? Why do people want to put themselves in places or positions where harm and misfortune could easily destroy them? ... These are just things that we may never understand."
He leaned forward and looked to Sephos with the utmost sympathy.
"But the most important thing I have learned from this endless search is that you must stay true to your beliefs and to yourself as a whole." He said, his voice filled with an odd determination he didn't know he had. "You cannot let this world dictate who you are and what you will do with your life. We are all individuals, Sephos. No one can take that away."
He clasped his hands and took a breath.
"But, I know that our world isn't quite ready for this way of thinking." He amended, looking toward the window. "All we can hope for is a calmer, more tolerant future for our kind, just as we can hope for the health and future of this seed."
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Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 5:13 am
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Sephos didn't outright bawl. He didn't know how. But, when the tissue was offered, he came very close. It was such a gesture, such a piece of resonant symbolism, that it couldn't help but move him. Also, it was softer and more absorbant than his hands.
Sephos was quiet, listening to what Rastin had to say. Even though he didn't know this time, Rastin put things into words, made them understandable and solid instead of abstract and strange. He had defined things, clarified things, made things make a little more sense. Which was saying a lot, because the outside world made no sense at all. He crumpled the stained tissue in his hands, trying to concentrate and remember those anchoring words and repeating them to himself in his mind.
Stay true to your beliefs and to yourself as a whole...
We are all individuals...
No one can take that away...
All we can do is hope...
It didn't answer the question of why, exactly, the world outside was a maddening, chaotic, tough place. It didn't answer the question of why someone would willingly immerse themselves in it.
But maybe that question was about as relevant as why night became day and day became night, why plants grow towards light, or why lusii chose their trolls. They did. It was. It happened. What Rastin was saying was that what he did about it was the point. That no one but him made his choices.
He drank his tea in ponderous silence as meaning seeped into him and words formed, and until his eyes no longer stung and his face was no longer dampened by green tears.
"You're a really good person, Rastin." he blurted out suddenly. |
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Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 2:13 pm
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Rastin turned from the window to find his young friend in what looked like mid-mental processing. Sephos' strained, tear-filled expression made his face falter and his lips drift forward in a concerned, subtle pout, but he dared not let himself cry. A very weak part of himself wanted to because he understood the pain and confusion that Sephos was going through, but explaining exactly why now was simply not something he could do. So, instead, he swallowed it down as hard as he could and finally reached out to touch Sephos' hand.
"... I've never thought of myself that way." He admitted, a soft shade of purple rising to his cheeks. "But, if you think so, I won't argue with that. ...Thank you."
He paused, his hand leaving his friend's and moving to his side again, and took a deep breath in.
"I want you to understand something else." He said, clasping his hands. "Not all strength comes from brute force and brawn. There are all kinds of strength and each one is worth just as much as the other, no matter what our society says."
He leaned forward and brought a caring, kind smile to his face.
"For example, what you said here, today, took you a great amount of emotional strength and courage. I am not only honored that you thought to confide in me, but immensely proud of you for it as well. You are a very strong person, Sephos."
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