[prp] blood ties (ezra + eve)

[shibrogane]

"No," said Ezra. "But here's the thing..."

He took a deep breath.

"The Melany that's walking around now is just as much a mockery as the Spinel Lady. She's like one of those caterpillars controlled by a wasp--harmless, but dangerous. And I want the Spinel Lady dead, because." He seemed to steel himself to say something. "Because when you die, you re-enter the cycle of rebirth. And if the Spinel Lady dies, then Melany will have another chance, the chance she deserves. This time, I know to protect her. I can keep her safe from the people who would turn her into a tool to fix their mistakes. And as it stands..."

He let out the breath he'd been half-holding. "If it came down to you or to the thing that looks like Melany, I'd pick you," he said.

cibarium

 

[cibarium]

Eve looked up with a surprised expression like she'd just been lifted out of a trance, but didn't say anything.

shibrogane

 

[shibrogane]

Ezra picked at the burn covering his right hand, still staring in a general downwards direction. "I figured that needed saying," he said.

cibarium

 

[cibarium]

"I'm sorry," said Eve, and it was in the anxious tone of someone trying to take responsibility for a general state of affairs -- but then a few seconds later, she continued, "For avoiding you. Now you know why, I guess."

She worked another fleck of polish off her thumbnail.

shibrogane

 

[shibrogane]

Ezra nodded. "Yeah," he said. "I understand."

He looked at Eve's hands. "I can help with that, if you want," he said. "The polish. Unless you're keeping it for a reason?" No judgement. It was an honest question. For all they were blood relations, they didn't know each other well, and Ezra acknowledged that.

cibarium

 

[cibarium]

"No reason," Eve admitted, offering her hands to him. "I just haven't been..."

She stopped, because there was a longer list of haven't-beens than she wanted to admit.

shibrogane

 

[shibrogane]

Ezra dug into his bag for a moment, and came out with a bottle of purple stuff that purported itself to be nail polish remover. A bag of cotton balls was rubber-banded to it. "It cleans keyboard keys really well," he said, sounding embarrassed about it, and bent to his work. A solid ten minutes later, he leaned back up. "There," he said. "Um... there."

cibarium

 

[cibarium]

There was no judgment from Eve on the nail polish remover thing. Because she was a huge gay married to another huge gay. Did you forget how ******** gay your parents are, Ezra? They're not going to give a s**t about your nail polish remover.

Ezra's work was clumsier than she could have done herself, but Eve still enjoyed the contact and the quiet. She lifted a hand to appraise her nails when he finished up, giving them a sad smile. "They were claws," she said, "when I painted them. I think I lied about not having a reason."

shibrogane

 

[shibrogane]

"They'll be claws again," said Ezra. He was confident about it. "There's ways to change anything. We can make this work."

cibarium

 

[cibarium]

In spite of Ezra's vast experience, Eve only found the smallest comfort in his reassurances. She splayed her hands flat on the table, really looked at them. "I don't know what I can do," she said, with a small shake of her head. "Besides wait and see... A Principal couldn't fix it, and I still barely know anything."

Eve looked up, her hands relaxed some, and she gave Ezra a tired but affectionate smile. "Sometimes I wonder how you can think of me as a mother," she quietly admitted. "You're all grown up, and we weren't there for it. I don't have much to offer you besides memories, do I?"

shibroane

 

[shibrogane]

Ezra shrugged. "I'm rather glad you don't remember my idea of music when I was a young teenager, full of vim and angst. Mom used to compose drum tracks to go with it until I begged you to make her stop." He smiled about that. "It's nice to be around family, even if they don't remember me the way I remember them... that's all."

cibarium

 

[cibarium]

"I wish I did. We both do."

shibrogane

 

[shibrogane]

Ezra nodded. "I'm sorry, Mom," he said.

cibarium

 

[cibarium]

The corner of Eve's mouth twitched in a funny way and she reached forward slowly to take Ezra's hands, wordlessly encouraging the contact he'd made on impulse some minutes ago, and it was as much as response to his earlier apology as it was to his present one. "All those embarrassing memories, they should be part of what makes you part of us," she was saying in her faltering voice. "Instead I can't know you the way I knew Dylan... all the little things that ended up adding together to form the you I see. And I won't ever know how it feels to hear a three year old call me Mom." Her hands shivered, her whole body did, as the tension crept back in, and keeping eye contact got harder and harder.

"I'll never know how Leila must have glowed when she got to hold you for the very first time. Or all the other firsts that came after," she said. "The first things we were proud of you for... the first things we were worried about you for... watching you turn into a musician, watching you come into your own as a person..."

There was more, obviously, it was written all over her face -- but she shook her head and stopped herself from continuing down that list. "Knowing we have a son means more to us than we could describe. And we love you, we did since the second you told us," she said. "Those memories mattered, though." Eve wrestled to pull out those four simple words; gritted her teeth against the taste of them, her posture buckling. "I can't pretend they didn't."

shibrogan

 

[shibrogane]

Ezra didn't know what to say, so he said nothing, just squeezed Eve's hands gently.

cibarium