• i wish you could have seen beyond my mask when you looked at me. seen the pain inside. i have scars for a reason. to remind me of the hell ive been through how i dont want to make those mistakes again. but its happening. im in pain and im scared and i dont know what to do. this all comes down to YOU. why did you have to come in to my life you made it so complicated. so hard to live in. so hard to choose. i have to make a choice and its killing me. you know what ill choose. you know it will be you. i cant resist you. everything about you pulls me in.

    i wish you could have seen the thoughts going through my head. the thoughts that are slowly devouring my soul... my very existence. who i am. YOU did this to me. YOU made this all hell. but i cant turn away. i cant say no to you. i want you with me more then you know. but its killing me. tearing apart both head and heart. leaving me dead, alone, bleeding in the street screaming YOUR name. why is this so hard for me. im in pain and torn yet some how complete when im with you. and yes your reading this and you know who you are. now you know what your doing to me. and secretly i love it. its hell, torture, deadly. i die a little more with each kiss. why do you do this. why is your love so toxic. how could you poison my mind and win over my heart at the same time. im giving in. this battle has been won. a battle of head vs. heart...